Today I had my last Chemo. I
really can’t believe it! I’m absolutely ecstatic! I’ve been on such a high this
week that I thought I would reach out to a friend and say hey life is too short
for grudges and move on pleasantly. Can you believe she fixated on something
that happened 4 weeks ago when we parted company than the simple fact that its
my last Chemo tomorrow and this is someone who supposed to care about me!
Seriously is that too much to expect from a friend! I don’t know, but please do
tell me. Not to mention the fact the 2 people I have given more too than anyone
else did not even acknowledge today. It still surprises me at how some people
in this world are so self-absorbed that they cannot see beyond themselves. My
daughter says that there are 2 types of people in this world, drains and
radiators and I have decided that I no longer wish to be around people who
drain me because they are thoughtless individuals. Disappointed is the word, to
say the least! Don’t get me wrong, albeit I feel let down, I am also thankful
to all my friends, family, BMI staff and all the other individuals I have met
throughout this journey and especially to both my son and daughter and work. I received
some beautiful messages and flowers from people who genuinely care. Its so
true, you do find out who your true friends are when the going gets tough.
Anyhow I’m in such a good mood
and have been all week that nothing can affect it. Having said that physically
this week has been the worse. I felt extremely poorly physically last week,
like I had the flu. Every little part of me aches, right down to my fingertips.
I don’t want to go out because I don’t want to put shoes on as they hurt my
toes. I have a red lump on my back that hurts and is possibly infected, so must
remember to mention it tomorrow. One of my toe nails is coming off and the
other just throbs all the time if any pressure is applied.
The nerves in the right foot are
still not normal after the episode with my back, so that foot feels strange all
the time anyway. I know this week will be taxing and I will be having the port
removed next week so just a little bit longer and I will start to mend
physically.
The end is near, and I am hoping
to go away in November for a few days and I really can’t wait to be free from
these chains and live.
The journey is not over though, I
will be having another operation in 3 month’s time but nothing compares to
Chemo so that should be manageable.
It has been a long journey and a
useful and enlightening interlude to life.
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