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Princes Risborough, Buckinghamshire, United Kingdom

Cancer's Waiting Room

Back in the waiting room. A strange place, the waiting room because you are alone in it, with just your thoughts and emotions. You know something is pending but what exactly, is a mystery. What is important though is the journey and we're never really given time to process the journey in real life or we don't give ourselves the time because stuff gets in the way and pre-occupies our head. We are consumed everyday with work, relationships, maintaining a home and then we are bombarded with what we should be doing because someone somewhere is living, what appears to be a more fuller life, so we have to do better. This song describes the moment.
All you folks think you own my life
But you never made any sacrifice
Demons they are on my trail
I'm standing at the crossroads of the hell
I look to the left I look to the right
There're hands that grab me on every side
Mmh, mmh
Mmh, mmh
All you folks think I got my price
At which I'll sell all that is mine
You think money rules when all else fails
Go sell your soul and keep your shell
I'm trying to protect what I keep inside
All the reasons why I live my life
Mmh, mmh
Mmh, mmh
Some say the devil be a mystical thing
I say the devil he a walking man
He a fool he a liar conjurer and a thief
He try to tell you what you want
Try to tell you what you need
Mmh, mmh
Mmh, mmh
Standing at the point
The road it cross you down
What is at your back
Which way do you turn
Who will come to find you first
Your devils or your gods
All you folks think you run my life
Say I should be willing to compromise
I say all you demons go back to hell
I'll save my soul, save myself
Mmh, mmh
Mmh, mmh
Save my soul, save myself
Save my soul, save myself
Save my soul, save myself
Save my soul, save myself
The appointment is at 7.30 this evening and I know I need to get some rest and sleep. I have questions prepared or should I say we have, i.e. the self appointed logistics manager, who cannot help but behave like a kid whens she's around me. I have various different things I need to do and organize, part of me wants to ignore it but these things have to be done and I have decided if I don’t get them done today, they will be done at some point. 

I had a call from the doctor who saw me earlier in the week to see how I was, How pleasant was that. He agreed to read my blog and forward it so that was nice. He pointed out that I needed to register with a GP, something I had not thought about but thats another story.

This whole situation has given me the confidence to be me and me is a really nice person and that in itself is such a revelation. So I tell the doctor that it was a blessing in disguise and I don’t think he anticipated me saying that. The thing is I mean it, learning to be direct and honest, one, with myself and two, with other people i think is one of the most important lessons I am learning, about life!!!!! 
Please follow me on twitter Harjit Gill @coulditbecance1

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